Only In My Heart
by Miyano Ran
Summary: My first ever official ShinichiRan fic! Angst/Romance! This is dedicated to you, HopeGrace1920! I hope you like this! Sorry for the angst... I'll make humor next time! Hountou desu! HopeGrace1920, Shinichi and Ran is a great pairing!


This thing is dedicated to HopeGrace1920 since she's a ShinichiRan die hard fan… sorry if I haven't been writing any stories of that pairing yet… It's not that I don't like SR and I prefer SS, it's just that, I'm more used to writing SS and I find their love relationship hard to actually form in the anime so it is easier for me to create different happenings on them… however, SR is already a fixed pairing and they love each other, period, so it's kinda hard to make stories out of them… Now I'm regretting, since SR is a great TERRIFIC pairing!

Hey! I love SS and SR EQUALLY. It's just that, I find SS easier to write for some reason… But I DO read SR fics, too! Yeah, yeah, I'm a two timer fan alright… I admit. Why? Who says I can't love two pairings at the same time? At least they are not Yaoi or Yuri! Yeah, you've guessed it, this fic is SR. But, forgive me cause it's short. PS: I have done disclaimers 25 times already… so; I think you already get the meaning of 'I am not an adult man named Aoyama' right? Good.

Let the story commence…

Uhmm… by the way, not only is this short, but it is also angst, sorry. Maybe because I'm typing this thing 12:00am wherein my whole family is already sleeping---er---snoring on their chairs…! Yeah! They are! -- Plus, I have a bad cold, yeah, I've sneezed 47 times today--- you count how many times you sneeze?--- answer to that--- of course! So that I can keep track on whether or not is my cold improving! --I'm weird? ---Agreed. I am.

**STORY**

All he could do now was stare… stare and admire the visage before him…

She had an enchanting smile, a smile that no other girl can ever replace, not even his mom's. Her lips were so ardent red that they were so tempting to kiss. Her skin was white, not pale,

and definitely not dark, but it was just… fair… fair white skin… creamy white… From head to toe, her skin stood out the most… her beautiful unblemished baby smooth fair white skin… no, he thought twice as he shook his head.

Her eyes… they held her emotions… her attractive shimmering blue eyes, her eyes were always what he would search for… They were the first thing that he would look in her appearance. Her hair… brunette… what a color… Only she had that fresh shampoo smell… that silky hair of hers… It tempts him even more to touch the soft long strands. And her body… she was tall, she had a very nice figure…

In short… she was perfect.

The perfect girl for him…

But he didn't like her only for that…

He looked beyond her physical loveliness. He looked at her character… her personality.

Everything about her was simply perfect.

She had this cute personality… she was bubbly, she was always cheerful, and she was the belle of the ball… always. Even when she had a problem, she would always try to fix other's problems instead of her own. She was loving, caring, understanding, kind. She was gentle, she had a soft heart and she was a wonderful girl.

And, he wanted to marry her.

If only…

If it weren't for that day…

He continued staring at her gorgeous façade when expected tears blurred his vision.

He closed his eyes, breaking down into tears.

It has been six long years, but the wound was still fresh. His tears fell fast as he remembered.

"_Ah…" Ran winced in pain right after she was deeply stabbed by a robber's sharp knife. Blood gushed out rapidly and that scared Shinichi._

_A thud._

_The brunette fell, scorching pain surging in her; she clenched her stomach in pain as more blood came out. She was turning pale._

_Tears streamed down her cheeks as Shinichi caressed her head gently._

"_Ran… please… survives this…" His usually smug face has been erected and now only melancholy and grief could be seen on his face, he was crying, his voice was croaky and raspy. He moaned in between tears and so did Ran. _

"_Even if I'm not here anymore… remember… I'm always here with you…" Ran whispered._

_Shinichi was stained all over with crimson red blood now, but he didn't care. His eyes pained seeing her in this state. He was digesting what she just said._

"_What?" He asked, his voice unsteady, eyes yearning, penetrating her eyes that reflected like a pain of forever._

"_Shinichi…" She said while she vomited blood on his pants. Shinichi's eyes stung more, his vision was blurry and he couldn't see much of her clearly._

"_I'm always here…" Ran said softly, her voice growing weaker than ever, her skin paler than a moment ago. Ran pointed at Shinichi's chest with her index finger. "I'm here, in your heart… Don't cry for me, Shinichi… cause I'm always with you… wherever you are…"_

_Shinichi smiled as a result of Ran's consoling words._

"_The ambulance will come soon… and they've gotten the criminal… you'll be alright…"_

_He panicked._

_Ran wasn't moving anymore._

_Nor was she breathing._

_But, she had this smile… on her face…_

_Shinichi broke down to tears, his world fell apart in an instant. He groaned in anguish._

_She was dead._

_He felt like dying with her as well._

"Ran…" He gasped, grabbing a picture of Ran on his desk and then embracing it close to him.

"I love you…" Tears stained the picture, smudging the ink.

He was now in great despair, his hopes and dreams of marrying Ran and being with her have long been erased… six years ago…

His sadness of Ran's death melted everything happy inside him. His soul was crushed.

He had to weep forever… the rest of his life… this torture…

All he wanted was for her to come back…

But he knew it was an impossible wish…

Even a genie can't bring the dead back to life…

His life had no meaning… he wanted to just rot.

He buried his face on his two palms and moaned, controlling the uncontrollable tears gushing out through his cerulean eyes. He wanted this to stop, his eyes were red now, and his eyes were painful with all those tears he had eradicated.

After all those years… he still cries… everyday single day… He wanted her everything!

But… now she's gone,

However… as he weeps, he remembers her last words six years ago…

"_I'm always here… I'm here, in your heart… Don't cry for me, Shinichi… cause I'm always with you… wherever you are…"_

He wiped his tears, struggling with his unsteady breathing. He inhaled deeply.

He wasn't going to cry anymore, he swore.

He tried to believe her words as he struggled inside him.

Those words that came from her luscious red lips.

He clutched his chest, smiling with dried tears on his cheeks.

"You have always been here…"

A drop of tear fell from his eyes.

He knew that was going to be the last drop.

"…in my heart… only here in my heart… I won't cry anymore."

He placed the photo of her gently on the desk. He stood up from his bed and forced a smile.

"I don't only see you as an image… as an imaginative entity… but I know you are here spiritually…"

He smiled, walking out of the room.

"Forever…right? Forever… you'll be with me, only in my heart…"

He turned his head and glanced at the picture he left behind while closing the door.

"Papa! Papa!"

Shinichi's adoptive little girl yelled happily, running towards him.

She was six years old.

"Did you have fun in school, honey?" Shinichi asked sweetly.

The girl nodded gaily and hugged her foster father.

"Daddy, can you get married? I want to have a mommy, too!" The girl expressed.

Shinichi smiled. "Sorry, honey, I'm already married… only you can't see her…"

"What? Really, I have a mommy?!" The little child squealed.

Shinichi's smile softened as he nodded.

"Yes, her name's Mouri Ran."

"Wow! We have the same name! Where is she?" The girl asked with curiosity innocently.

"Kore…(here)…" Shinichi pointed to his chest. "She's in my heart, sweetie…"

"How can that be?" The girl asked with a high pitched voice while scratching her head.

Shinichi just giggled, hiding the pain inside him. "You'll know when you grow up."

"I love you daddy!" The little girl said cutely, nodding.

Shinichi smiled at his adoptive daughter who was named after _her_

He replied with equal or if not greater love, patting his little girl on her head, ruffling her hair strands.

"I love you too, Ran-chan."

**END**

So, was that angsty enough?! Or should I make one angstier?! I think this lacks angst… (sheepish grin) what do you think?!

Review onegai!

Started: 12:00 am of Saturday, November 1, 2008

Ended: 1:15 am of Saturday, November 1, 2008


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